Meeting Demelza - A Short Story By Winston Graham

Below is the short story of Winston Graham called 'Meeting Demelza'. This is the last published work that Winston Graham wrote before he died on 10th July 2003. It came about by chance because of Simon Parker. Simon is an award winning Author, Playwright, Editor, Publisher and Journalist.

Ross and Demelza - The Myth of An 'Impossible' Or 'Impractical' Separation

"But I could not come too you again-break up everyone's life afresh." 

Ross to Elizabeth three years after 'The May Incident'  'The Four Swans' 

After that 'May Incident' in 93 Ross did not go to see Elizabeth and only met with her by chance some three years later at the Sawle Church Graveyard in 1796. Elizabeth, who after wishing him dead in her thoughts and displaying a visible anger of him, had eventually calmed down when she suggested to him that he may have regretted what he done to her. As quoted above from this scene in the sixth book 'The Four Swans', Ross told Elizabeth in reply that he "could not" come to her and break up everyone's lives. From this, one might think this this suggested that part of Ross may have actually wanted to go to Elizabeth and therefore to break up his life with Demelza and her life with George too. So this scene in the book and after Ross's return to Nampara invites a consideration of Ross separating with Demelza and this is what this post will explore. 

From an emotional point of view previous posts 'A Discovery of Preference' and 'Reassurances and Reaffirmations of First Choice' both actually explore the question of whether it was a matter of the head rather than the heart that caused Ross to stay with Demelza, instead of separating to be with Elizabeth. They do both document that this was far from the case, with the first of those posts focusing on Ross's journey of discovery that he did not have a 'real and true love' for Elizabeth. The second focused on how, along with the author's verification, Ross was able to convey with conviction to Demelza that his real wish and his heart's desire was to be and stay with her. So in the end this choice of Ross's for Demelza, instead of Elizabeth, was made irrespective of practicalities because it was based on feeling rather than obligation or rather than just having to regretfully take what was left for him. 

It seems that Ross's words to Elizabeth at the Church Graveyard were phased deceptively in a spirit of peace and diplomacy. No doubt this was so that Elizabeth could feel comforted that he may have wanted to come to her. In light of her anger and Ross's great wrong to her it was fair that he take that approach rather than for Ross to have offended Elizabeth once again by implying that his offence was all for nothing and that she had experienced his attack on her when leaving Demelza never was the merest consideration for him. Nevertheless this post explores whether logistically Ross could have separated with Demelza for Elizabeth if he really wanted to. It will serve to address a questionable assumption that either way Ross had no choice but to stay with Demelza regardless of his wishes. This post will make significant historical references to personalities of the time and their separation scenarios in order to provide context of the times. So the focus here will be on the practical issues around processes and societal attitude to enable Ross and Demelza to separate, while the post to follow that called 'Ross and Demelza- Falling Into Separation' and 'Demelza's Three Offers To Leave Ross- Ross's Resistance' will focus on the emotional narrative of how they as an estranged couple fell into a state of separation with Demelza in particular leading the way with this against Ross's resistance. Thirdly in this quartet of essays 'Demelza’s Hall Pass' will similarly to this post cover the practicalities and societal attitude should Ross have wanted Elizabeth as his mistress.  

Elizabeth: Envy Of The New 'Great Lady' -Demelza Pt 4 (10 Truths On Elizabeth's Astonishments And Humiliations)

'She was a beautiful, rather over-reserved, disappointed young woman. She was also jealous of the blossoming Demelza though she tried to fight against it.'

Narrative of Elizabeth's thoughts at the Truro Ball 1789 Demelza  'Demelza'  first edition (Internal Book 1 Chpt 6)

Following on from the last post 'Elizabeth: Observing The Prize Wife -Demelza', this post is now the fourth in the series of essays covering the theme of Elizabeth's astonishments and humiliations in relation to her interaction with the Ross and Demelza love story. The scenes and event in focus for this post centres around a grand ball that Elizabeth attended in April 1789. Demelza also attended this, and in fact this was when she was essentially introduced by Ross to his gentry society. Therefore this was the occasion where Demelza essentially 'came out' (into society) for her first ball. Like her coming out as Ross's wife to his family (as covered in the last post), Demelza was more than a tremendous success at the ball too. It is from this that Elizabeth would experience astonishment and humiliation by way of inadequacy and a sense of failure in comparison against Demelza.

Elizabeth : Observing The New Prize Wife - Demelza Pt 3 (10 Truths On Elizabeth's Astonishments and Humiliations )

Humiliation: To reduce (someone) to a lower position in one's own eyes or others' eyes / to make (someone) ashamed or embarrassed.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

As this post covers Demelza's formal introduction to the Trenwith Poldarks and their friends as Ross's wife in December 1787, this is the third one in the series of essays exploring the theme of astonishment and humiliation that Elizabeth once introduced as a cloud over her life. The last two posts in the series were 'Bud On The Horizon' and 'Demelza-Elizabeth's Powerful Obstacle'. They covered the first two scenes which seem to have contributed to this theme against Elizabeth. As set out in that first and lead post in this series, and in accordance with the definition, humiliation for Elizabeth's theme would involve narrative and story development that seemed to lower her position to the reader. For instance, through her position to Ross being knocked as the woman that was 'The prize' above most other women, including Demelza. Indeed as Demelza was an unexpected roaring success for this Christmas event Elizabeth had a front row seat in observing Demelza assert her position as as a 'prize' wife for Ross. This is just like how Elizabeth had previously been thought of as when marrying Francis. As if recognising her own reduced and lower position under Demelza just as if in her shadow, Elizabeth would have an emotional reaction to this. This would include an outburst and a plan to redress this which would reveal the extent of Elizabeth's displacement and bitterness. 

Demelza- Elizabeth's Powerful Obstacle (Pt2 10 Truths On Elizabeth's Astonishments and Humiliations )

'....and they were both aware, while not knowing that the other was aware, that the reconciliation had come too later to count for what it might.'

Winston Graham's narrative as Elizabeth ends her visit to Ross at Nampara ( ‘Ross Poldark’  internal Book 2 Chapter 8 )  

This is a second post continuing on from the lead one titled '10 Truths On Elizabeth's Astonishments and humiliations Pt1 Bud On The Horizon'. That was an introduction to the exploration of this theme (of astonishments and humiliations) as one that Winston Graham imposed on Elizabeth and which was a theme that ran through all aspects of her life. However, in this series of posts it is explored in respect of Elizabeth's interactions within the Ross and Demelza love story. That first and introductory post explored specifically what the theme was about and why Winston Graham may have chosen to direct it so clearly, repeatedly and consistently against Elizabeth within her life experiences generally. It ended off with the first of ten significant scenes which contributed to this narrative against Elizabeth where in that particular scene her lack of influence on Ross to cause him, in respect of the newly on the scene Demelza, to "..send her home.." and also her behaviour which caused Ross to end up fighting with extra strength and passion to do the very opposite, is a bit of an ironic jibe at Elizabeth. That was only as the narrative was kicking  off at that early stage. Of course it all meant that Demelza was somewhat of a bud on the horizon who from that, and given her humble beginnings, would later blossom and become a powerful and successful obstacle to Elizabeth in her quest for Ross's romantic interest and in her quest to have the greater priority and influence over Ross than Demelza did.

This post now covers the second key scene for this theme of Elizabeth’s and the period after the two year time jump in the first book when Demelza had come of age. This is where Elizabeth would experience that Demelza as that bud that was previously just on the horizon, was now in her clear view and had blossomed enough to become an obstacle to her intentions with Ross following the collapse of her marriage to Francis. The scene in focus is the iconic 'Bluebell Scene'. It is actually a landmark milestone in Graham's narrative of astonishment and humiliation for Elizabeth because as well as a significant turning point for Ross and Demelza it is the first shock for Elizabeth that she felt in the moment with this narrative. This was to the extent that it caused her to literally flee the scene. For this reason and because of the many issues it throws up, it is addressed here in this post at some great length while the other key scenes for her theme will be addressed in later posts.

10 Truths On Elizabeth's Astonishments and Humiliations Pt1 (Demelza-Bud on the Horizon)

"Is it such an astonishment that a woman who changed her mind could change it twice?...Well, yes, perhaps it is, for it has always been an astonishment and a humiliation to me."

Elizabeth to Ross ‘Warleggan’ (Internal Book 1 Chapter 3)

This essay explores the theme of Elizabeth's 'astonishment' and 'humiliation' within her interaction with the Ross and Demelza love story. This follows on from the last post ‘A False Impression?: Elizabeth’s Impulsive And Romantic Disclosure To Ross', where Elizabeth introduced the idea of this theme applying to her. As a brief recap that post focused on the scene in ‘Warleggan’ at the Trevaunance party in May 1792 when Elizabeth Poldark told Ross Poldark that some years ago, at a time that she did not clarify, she had discovered that she loved him ‘better’ than Francis. She went on to say that her change of mind in favour of him “…has always been an astonishment and a humiliation to me.” That last post explored this and found that Graham’s narrative elsewhere contradicted Elizabeth’s disclosure and suggested that in Elizabeth's vagueness she had given Ross a false impression. However that does not mean that she did not feel these emotions for other reasons as part of a theme against her.

A False Impression? -Elizabeth's Impulsive And Romantic Disclosure To Ross

In a perfectly cool, young voice she said "I never really believed you were dead. I thought I loved francis better...And then I discovered my mistake.”

Elizabeth to Ross ‘Warleggan’ (Internal book 1 Chapter 3)

In 'Warleggan’ Elizabeth suggested to Ross Poldark at a party that long ago she had realised that she loved him 'better' than her husband Francis Poldark. As with her quote above, she referred to herself as having discovered that she had made a 'mistake'. Elizabeth also also went on to give Ross the impression that this self discovery of hers had been an ongoing  'astonishment' and 'humiliation' to her afterwards. However it was nine years beforehand, as Ross had recalled, where Elizabeth had told him "I don't love you." Winston Graham had shared in real time that on that Easter Wednesday of 1784 Elizabeth also told Ross "...Ross, ours was a boy-and-girl attachment. I was very fond of you......But you went away and I met Francis and with Francis it was different. I loved him..." This means that her disclosure at the Warleggan party was a reversal of what she had told Ross initially, and on the face of it this surprising disclosure looked like quite a personal, impulsive and self deprecating revelation from Elizabeth. This is especially since she was typically quite a guarded character. However, aside from the reworkings of her character in the most recent adaptation of Poldark, based on the original story in the books, the question of Elizabeth loving or not loving Ross has never been explicit and without question, in the way that the feeling of love has been between other characters in the story. This post will therefore explore whether Elizabeth's disclosure to Ross was a truthful one or whether he was given a false impression. 

Marrying Demelza- Ross’s Engaging And Vital Blessing (A Satisfying Decision)

 

"There was the theme I wanted to express, dealing with the Ross- Elizabeth-Francis triangle...Into it also had come the engaging and vital character Demelza, who by now was intent on altering the shape of the story."

Winston Graham -'Woman Magazine' 10th December 1977

This is a follow up to 'Marrying Demelza: The Engaging and Vital Character (Foiling Elizabeth- Saving Ross)'. That focused on Demelza's vital role in altering Ross's life. This involved Demelza unintentionally provoking him to change his life philosophy so he could move even more sharply forward in his journey of moving on from Elizabeth. It then also involved her foiling Elizabeth’s plan for some kind of romantic reconciliation with Ross. That was by Demelza causing Ross to see her as another option and as ‘the obvious way out’, while good timing also played a hand in this too. So as considered in that previous post Demelza probably saved Ross a lot of heartache from something messy and unlikely to work out with Elizabeth anyway. Of course, while Ross was a blessing to Demelza and she often had these thoughts of gratitude about this, this post now looks at how Graham seemed to push and emphasise a strong narrative of Demelza being drafted into the story as a blessing to Ross and was his saving grace. This included the way she continued to play both a vital and engaging role for him beyond their wedding day as his wife, and how she fundamentally brought to his life things that he had never experienced and which made him happy. It’s to be presumed that this for Ross was most likely happier than he would have been without Demelza and with someone quite unlike her. That includes Elizabeth. In doing so, like a true heroine this post essentially does celebrate how Demelza served as a character that continued to have a major transforming effect on Ross that carried through beyond their day of marriage and impacted quite favourably on his quality and enjoyment of life. 

Marrying Demelza- The Engaging And Vital Character (Pt1 Foiling Elizabeth- Saving Ross)

"There was the theme I wanted to express, dealing with the Ross- Elizabeth-Francis triangle...Into it also had come the engaging and vital character Demelza, who by now was intent on altering the shape of the story."

Winston Graham -'Woman Magazine' 10th December 1977

For a lot of the three and half years between Ross Poldark's return to Cornwall and his marriage to Demelza he was depressed due to Elizabeth not waiting for him and marrying Francis. However it is not a coincidence that Winston Graham wrote dialogue for Ross after this upset whereby Ross expressed that he wanted to find a 'way out', and that three years later, and while coinciding with Demelza being off age, Graham narrated Ross's thoughts that marriage to her is what was the 'obvious' 'way out' for him. This post is a follow up to 'Marrying Demelza: The 'Obvious Way Out For Ross (Duty or Desire)'. Inspired by Graham's comment to Woman Magazine in 1977 that Demelza was "the engaging and vital character" who was set up to alter the shape of the story, this and a second follow up post will cover how these qualities presented themselves and contributed to making Ross's decision to marry Demelza one that Ross never regretted and which even before he fell in love with her 42 days later, was a satisfying one for him. This part one post will focus on Graham's description of Demelza’s character as 'vital' and how this was put into action and demonstrated by her blocking Elizabeth from leading Ross into a self serving trap that she stood to gain far more from than Ross could. It will explore what Ross was saved from and therefore this will examine extensively what Ross's path with Elizabeth might have had in store for him if he went that way instead of choosing one with Demelza. It will then also explore how Demelza was crucially a vehicle for Ross to have a change of philosophy so that he would have the mindset to reject Elizabeth and chose her instead.

Vital Demelza's 'Altering' Effect: Saving Ross From Elizabeth

Demelza was a 'vital' character for many reasons and this includes how she impacted characters other than just Ross. However, this element of her character’s purpose, is naturally most significant in how she impacted on the life of the saga’s hero. Essentially Demelza was vital to Ross by becoming his wife and turning him from a miserable man to a happy and content one where she became the centre of his life and gave him a fuller life rather than the half life he had been living before he married her. Graham therefore refers to Demelza in quite strong terms by suggesting that she was ‘vital’ because presumably in respect of Ross, she single-handedly did alter the shape of the story and specifically his life. In relation to this there is no doubt that the ‘Bluebell scene’ is where Graham set Demelza off to work in her role of altering Ross’s life. This was specifically away from Elizabeth's clutches for a second time. 

Marrying Demelza: The 'Obvious Way Out' For Ross (Duty Or Desire)

'It was not that he loved her but that such a course was the obvious way out.'

Winston Graham's narration on Ross’s decision to marry Demelza  ('Ross Poldark' Internal book 3 chapter 1)

It may be tempting to assume that Ross married Demelza before after sleeping with her it was the 'right thing to do' as if he was motivated by a moral duty rather than it fulfilling a personal need of his and a desire. However it is not written that Ross ever thought of his marriage decision to Demelza as 'the right thing to do' and Winston Graham never narrated this either. So why did Ross Poldark decide on marrying Demelza? To some the answer to this question was never spelt out explicitly in Winston Graham's narration. In the post called 'The Magic Of The Fall In Love' the focus is on that magical moonlit night of 6th August 1787 when Ross new himself to be in love with Demelza after he had already married her. But while it is likely that the process of falling and being in love occurred beforehand, but without Ross knowing exactly when, what is clear is that whatever Ross's feelings were for Demelza on 1st June 1787 when he decided to marry her, he did not believe or know himself to be in love with her at that specific time. This therefore begs that question about Ross's reasoning for deciding on marriage to Demelza. This is especially in light of Winston Graham’s narration that for Ross Poldark 'It was not that he loved her but that such a course was the obvious way out.' Since the 'obvious way out' is not necessarily the same as the 'right thing', to truly understand why Ross married Demelza one therefore has to work out what marriage to Demelza was the obvious way out from for Ross. In tandem with this that includes exploring whether he made this decision because of a moral duty to her or because he genuinely wanted to at the time. 

The Mystery Of The Way Out: A Moral Duty Or A Wish To Marry?

Graham's line about the 'obvious way out' is pretty vague and so this does not assist in understanding what marrying Demelza was a way out from. Even though the line does not mention what this might have been, or indeed anything about a moral duty, it may certainly stir up thoughts that a moral duty to marry Demelza should be the natural presumption as to what Graham meant by this on Ross's behalf. However, when looking at the fuller picture that Graham provides, and when also looking at Ross's state of mind at the time of deciding to marry Demelza, it is apparent that this ‘obvious way out’ meant something quite different for Ross than a moral duty. Instead it is clear that this 'obvious way out' was something that Ross saw as a positive life changing move on his part, so that marriage to Demelza was in his interests just as much as it may have been in her's too.